His Strength, My Journey

There is a kind of heartbreak that changes you forever. Not the kind that fades after a few weeks. Not the kind people write pretty quotes about and move on from. I mean the kind of heartbreak that lives inside your body. The kind that makes your stomach tighten when someone raises their voice. The kind that teaches you to stay quiet during conflict because your mind still remembers what fear felt like. The kind that steals pieces of who you were until one day you look in the mirror and barely recognize yourself anymore. For years, I fought for my marriage. Not casually. Not halfway. I fought with everything inside me. I was married for six years, but my husband maybe lived with me for less than two of those years because of drug addiction. And before anyone rushes to judge me, let me say this honestly: I was not innocent either. I struggled too. Addiction touched both of our lives. But somewhere along the line, God changed my heart. I chose to stop. I chose my ...

Running a business is often portrayed as freedom, success, and financial stability. People see the outside — the smiling face, the open doors, the constant “professionalism” — but very few see the silent battles business owners fight behind closed doors. Especially in childcare and education, where the emotional weight is just as heavy as the financial one. There are days when being a business owner feels less like leadership and more like becoming everyone’s punching bag. If a staff member makes a mistake, somehow it becomes your failure. If equipment breaks, you are expected to magically produce a solution overnight, as though business owners have endless money hidden away somewhere. People assume because you own a school or a business, you must be financially secure. What they don’t see are the nights you go without groceries, the months you sacrifice your own salary so your staff can be paid, or the guilt of telling your own children “maybe next time” when they ask for small treats...

There are days when I sit quietly and ask God the same question over and over again: "Lord, what is Your purpose for my life?" I have spent so much of my journey believing there had to be more. More impact. More ministry. More success. More influence. Something bigger. Something visible. Something that would finally make me feel like I had “arrived.” And yet, this Mother’s Day, while watching the sermon from Christian Revival Church Port Elizabeth, something shifted deeply inside me. For the first time, I realized that maybe I had been overlooking one of the greatest callings God could ever entrust to a person: Motherhood. Not just motherhood in the ordinary sense — but motherhood as warfare. Motherhood as ministry. Motherhood as legacy. Motherhood as healing generations. As a single mom, life often feels heavy. There are moments where exhaustion whispers lies to me: You’re not doing enough. Your life should be bigger than this. You should have achieved more by no...

I didn’t expect a simple personality test to feel like a mirror. But when I saw my results — Dominance: 51% — something in me paused. Not because I didn’t recognize it… But because I did. --- 💔 Strength Was Never Just a Personality The DISC test describes Dominance as: - Strong - Decisive - Results-driven - A natural leader And yes… that’s me. But what the test doesn’t tell you is this: Sometimes strength isn’t chosen — it’s formed in survival. I didn’t become strong because life was easy. I became strong because I had to be. When no one stepped in… I did. When things fell apart… I held them together. When love felt unsafe… I learned control instead. So when I read “high D personality,” I didn’t just see leadership. I saw a life that trained me to: - Act quickly - Trust myself - Depend on no one --- ⚖️ The Tension Between Strength and Surrender Here’s where it got real for me. Because while my personality says: «“Take control. Fix it. Lead.”» My faith says: «“Be still. Tru...

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, behold, the new has come.” — 2 Corinthians 5:17 Lately, I’ve been witnessing something in my life that I can only describe as transformation. Not the kind that happens on the outside first, but the kind that begins deep within the heart — the quiet work that only God can do. Sometimes I sit quietly and realise that the person I am becoming is very different from the person I always believed myself to be. For most of my life, I thought I was an extrovert. I was loud, expressive, and often the center of attention. I was strong, aggressive when I needed to be, impatient, and very firm. People didn’t mess around with me, and in many ways that strength became a kind of armor. It helped me survive difficult seasons and protect what mattered to me. But lately, something inside me has been shifting. The more time I spend with God, the more I feel Him softening parts of my heart that I once th...

There is a question in the Bible that has troubled believers for thousands of years: Why do some wicked people seem to live comfortable, prosperous lives while others endure unimaginable suffering? In Job 21 , Job himself asks this question. He looks around and sees people who reject God yet seem to prosper, grow old, and enjoy their lives. Meanwhile, he is suffering deeply despite his faith. For a long time, that question bothered me too. Because if I’m honest, my life has not been easy. My story is filled with struggle, abuse, hardship, and seasons of pain that felt unbearable. There were times when the darkness was so heavy that I didn’t think I would survive it. In those moments, the thought of eternity or being separated from God didn’t even cross my mind. The hurt was so overwhelming that all I wanted was for the pain to stop. But something remarkable happened through all of it. Somewhere in the middle of the brokenness, I began to search for God. Not because my life was ...

There is something sacred happening in my life right now. For so long, I believed strength meant silence. I believed faith meant composure. I believed being “a good Christian woman” meant pressing down my emotions and carrying on without complaint. But lately, God has been gently leading me into a different kind of strength — the strength of honesty. As I’ve been reading Untangling Your Emotions by Jennie Allen, I can feel the Spirit nudging me: “You are allowed to feel.” That truth feels revolutionary. Because when I read Job 16, I see something I never fully saw before. Job is not polished. He is not composed. He is not tidy in his faith. He is hurting. He says his friends are “miserable comforters.” He says he feels attacked. He feels misunderstood. He feels overwhelmed. And yet — God allowed those words to be written in Scripture. That means something profound. It means God is not afraid of our raw emotions. It means lament is not rebellion. It means pain expressed is n...