Butterflies

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There was a time when I believed peace was something other people found.
Not women like me.
Not mothers fighting to keep their children safe.
Not hearts that had been stretched thin between faith and fear.
For a long time, “moving on” felt like betrayal. Betrayal of covenant. Betrayal of hope. Betrayal of the version of myself who kept praying that if I just loved harder, endured longer, forgave deeper, things would change.
But sometimes moving on isn’t betrayal.
Sometimes it’s obedience.

When Peace Starts to Feel Possible
There is a strange quiet that comes when chaos finally leaves your home. At first, it’s unsettling. You wait for the shouting. The slammed doors. The emotional rollercoaster. The accusations. The apologies that never quite turn into change.
And then one day you realize…
No one is coming to disrupt your peace.
The children are laughing again.
You are sleeping again.
You are breathing again.
And somewhere in the middle of folding laundry or watching the ocean waves roll in, you feel it.
A flutter.
Like butterflies you thought had died.
Not butterflies for a person necessarily. But butterflies for life. For possibility. For the thought that maybe… just maybe… happiness is not reserved for everyone else.
The Threats When You Start Healing
Here is something no one talks about enough:
When you begin to move on, when you begin to heal, when you begin to glow differently… sometimes the past doesn’t like that.
Sometimes the messages start.
Accusations.
Manipulation.
Threats wrapped in “concern.”
Anger disguised as hurt.
Because your peace exposes what chaos couldn’t control anymore.
When someone is used to having emotional access to you — to your fear, your guilt, your tears — your strength can feel like rejection to them.
But hear this clearly:
Someone else’s threats do not mean you are doing something wrong.
Sometimes they mean you are finally doing something right.
Faith, Freedom, and the Fear of Being Happy Again
For those of us on a faith journey, moving on can feel especially heavy.
We wrestle with scriptures.
We wrestle with vows.
We wrestle with the question, “God, is this allowed?”
But God is not the author of confusion, fear, or intimidation.
2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.”
Power does not look like staying
where you are harmed.
Love does not look like tolerating intimidation.
A sound mind does not live in constant anxiety.
Sometimes moving forward is not abandoning faith — it is walking in it.
Finding Butterflies Again
Butterflies are fragile, but they are also proof of transformation.
A caterpillar does not apologize for becoming something new.
And you do not have to apologize for healing.
You are allowed to:
Laugh without checking your phone in fear
Make plans without asking permission
Dream about love without shame
Imagine a future that feels safe
The thought of happiness does not make you sinful.
The desire for peace does not make you rebellious.
The hope for love does not make you foolish.
It makes you human.
When the Past Tries to Pull You Back
If you are receiving threatening messages because you are finally standing up… pause.
Do not engage in the emotional battlefield.
Set boundaries.
Document everything.
Seek wise counsel.
Protect your children.
But do not surrender your peace.
You have already fought too hard to get here.
The enemy of your future will always try to resurrect your past.
But resurrection belongs to God — not to manipulation.
You Can Have Love Again
Let me say this gently:
You are not too damaged for love.
You are not too spiritual for joy.
You are not too old, too tired, too broken, or too complicated.
You can have:
A safe home
A gentle love
Laughter that isn’t followed by fear
A partnership that honors God and protects your children
The butterflies you feel are not foolishness.
They are hope waking up.
And hope is holy.
Moving on is not about revenge.
It is not about proving a point.
It is not about rushing into something new.
It is about choosing peace.
It is about choosing safety.
It is about choosing the version of you that God always intended — the one who walks in freedom, not intimidation.
If threatening messages are coming your way because you are healing, let them be confirmation:
You are no longer controlled.
And that is terrifying…
to the wrong person.
But it is beautiful to the right one.
And maybe — just maybe — those butterflies are proof that God is not finished writing your love story.
Not one bit. 🦋
Hello, I’m a mom of four as a self-employed business owner, I’ve learned how to juggle many roles, often feeling stretched thin, but my faith has always been a source of strength and guidance. Life hasn’t always been easy—marriage struggles and personal challenges have tested me, but each experience has deepened my faith and understanding of who I am. This blog is a space where I share my heart, my journey, and the lessons I’m learning along the way. I hope my story can offer encouragement and connection to theirs walking their own paths of faith and growth.

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