The Gift That Made Me Homesick.

-

Lately, this world feels foreign.
Not dark. Not unbearable.
Just temporary.
The noise feels louder. The striving feels emptier. The rush for things that fade feels thinner than it once did. And deep inside, there is a quiet pull — not downward, but upward.
A homesickness.
Scripture says we are strangers and pilgrims on the earth (see Hebrews 11:13). I used to read that as poetic language. Now I feel it in my bones.
I belong to Another.
And His name is Jesus.

🌿 The Gift That Reveals the Father
The gift of Jesus is not only about salvation.
It is about revelation.
When the Father gave His Son, He was not just solving a sin problem — He was unveiling His heart.
In John 3:16, we read that God so loved the world that He gave His only Son.
He gave.
Not because we were good.
Not because we were stable.
Not because we had proven ourselves worthy.
But because love is who He is.
Jesus shows us that God is not distant. He is not cold. He is not measuring us with a disappointed sigh.
He steps into flesh.
He walks our dust.
He touches lepers.
He weeps at graves.
He forgives while bleeding.
If you want to know what God is like — look at Jesus.
Gentle.
Firm.
Holy.
Merciful.
Strong enough to carry the cross.
Tender enough to restore Peter.
That is the character of God.

🌿 The Gift That Makes Me Feel Worthy
There were years in my life when I did not feel wanted.
Years shaped by rejection, abandonment, abuse, confusion — years where love felt conditional and fragile.
But Jesus does not approach me like the world did.
He does not tolerate me.
He chooses me.
When I picture Him, I do not see accusation in His eyes. I see recognition. As if He has always known me. As if He has always been moving toward me.
The cross tells me I am worth dying for.
Not because I am flawless.
But because I am loved.
That changes something deep inside a wounded heart.
It heals the lie that says, “You are too broken.”
It replaces it with truth: “You are Mine.”

🌿 The Homesickness of the Redeemed
There are moments now when I find myself longing to see His face.
Not because I want to escape this life.
But because I have tasted enough of Him to know that nothing here compares.
Paul wrote about this tension in Philippians 1:23 — torn between departing to be with Christ and remaining for the sake of others.
I understand that tension now.
There is a growing awareness that this is not my final address. That my real home is in His presence. That one day faith will become sight.
One day, I will see the scars in His hands.
One day, I will not have to believe that I am loved — I will feel it without barrier.
One day, I will run into the arms of the Savior who carried me through every dark valley.
And oh, how I long for that day.
But longing for Heaven does not mean despising Earth.
It means living here with eternity in view.

🌿 Why I Stay
I stay because I have children to raise.
I stay because little eyes are watching how I love, how I forgive, how I worship.
I stay because there are babies in my care who need safety, and I know what it feels like to grow up without it.
I stay because every lesson I teach, every prayer I whisper over a classroom, every tear I wipe away — is service to Him.
If this life is a vapor, then let mine rise like incense.
Let my motherhood glorify Him.
Let my school reflect His heart.
Let my scars testify to His redemption.
Jesus did not save me so I could sit and wait for Heaven.
He saved me so I can bring heaven into the places I occupy.
🌿 The Fierce Yes
Yes, I feel the homesickness.
Yes, I feel the pull of eternity.
But I also feel a fierce yes rising in me.
Yes to serving.
Yes to building.
Yes to forgiving.
Yes to loving when it costs me something.
Yes to finishing my race well.
When He calls me home, I will go with joy.
But until that day, I will live loudly for Him.
Because the greatest gift ever given was not just eternal life later —
it was belonging now.
I belong to Jesus.
And that has made this temporary world feel beautifully small.
Hello, I’m a mom of four as a self-employed business owner, I’ve learned how to juggle many roles, often feeling stretched thin, but my faith has always been a source of strength and guidance. Life hasn’t always been easy—marriage struggles and personal challenges have tested me, but each experience has deepened my faith and understanding of who I am. This blog is a space where I share my heart, my journey, and the lessons I’m learning along the way. I hope my story can offer encouragement and connection to theirs walking their own paths of faith and growth.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When Christians Judge the Woman Who Survived.

-
Image
There is a kind of heartbreak that changes you forever. Not the kind that fades after a few weeks. Not the kind people write pretty quotes about and move on from. I mean the kind of heartbreak that lives inside your body. The kind that makes your stomach tighten when someone raises their voice. The kind that teaches you to stay quiet during conflict because your mind still remembers what fear felt like. The kind that steals pieces of who you were until one day you look in the mirror and barely recognize yourself anymore. For years, I fought for my marriage. Not casually. Not halfway. I fought with everything inside me. I was married for six years, but my husband maybe lived with me for less than two of those years because of drug addiction. And before anyone rushes to judge me, let me say this honestly: I was not innocent either. I struggled too. Addiction touched both of our lives. But somewhere along the line, God changed my heart. I chose to stop. I chose my ...
Read more

January: When Childcare Providers Pay the Price for December Choices.

-
To childcare providers, educators, minders, and centre owners around the world — this one is for us. January has become one of the hardest months in early childhood education, and not because we don’t love what we do. It’s because every year, many of us start the year unpaid, unsupported, and blamed for simply asking for what is owed. After December — a month of holidays, celebrations, spending, and “jollies” — January arrives with silence. Invoices that were sent in November are suddenly “not received.” Calls are ignored. Messages go unanswered. Payments arrive short — if they arrive at all. And when we follow up? We are told we are attacking parents. We are accused of being unreasonable. We are sworn at. We are lied to. Or worse — completely ignored. Let’s be very clear about something: Childcare is not a charity. It is not optional. And it is not something you can delay paying for without consequences. When fees go unpaid in January, it doesn’t just affect a business on paper. It me...
Read more