Starting over at 41: Finding God in the lonliness.

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Rest in Peace!!! Uncle Nikki!!!!

Yesterday, we laid my uncle to rest.
As I sat there among family — faces I once knew so well — I couldn’t help but feel the ache of something deeper than grief. It wasn’t just the pain of losing him… it was the quiet realization that the only time I see certain people anymore is at funerals. The ones I secretly miss, but know deep down never really cared for me the way I hoped they did.

It’s a strange kind of sadness — being surrounded by people, yet feeling invisible among them.
A reminder that some chapters have truly closed.

Since my divorce, I’ve had to face truths I never thought I’d have to. Like the fact that I can’t keep calling my mother-in-law just to chat, because she’s no longer “my” family. That I have to start over again — at 41. The very thought of it is daunting. Starting from scratch when you thought you had it all figured out.

But God…

Last week, the Holy Spirit came upon me in a way I can’t even begin to describe. It was powerful, real, overwhelming — and in that moment, I felt alive again. I felt seen. I felt held.
Ever since then, all I’ve wanted is to feel that closeness to God again. That peace, that fire, that assurance that I am not walking this road alone.

But life… distractions… pain… they creep in and try to steal that connection.
Still, something in me knows that this is the season where God is calling me back to Him. Not to people, not to places, not to what was — but to Him.

Because even in the loneliness, there’s a divine invitation.
Even in the starting over, there’s grace.
Even when it feels like everything has been stripped away, God is saying,

> “I am doing a new thing. Do you not perceive it?” — Isaiah 43:19

Hello, I’m a mom of four as a self-employed business owner, I’ve learned how to juggle many roles, often feeling stretched thin, but my faith has always been a source of strength and guidance. Life hasn’t always been easy—marriage struggles and personal challenges have tested me, but each experience has deepened my faith and understanding of who I am. This blog is a space where I share my heart, my journey, and the lessons I’m learning along the way. I hope my story can offer encouragement and connection to theirs walking their own paths of faith and growth.

Comments

  1. AnonymousOctober 5, 2025 at 12:32 AM

    Shu! He is certainly doing a new thing indeed! ❤️🙌🏿 May deepest condolences to you Collette on the loss of your uncle. May the Lord continue to be near you in comfort. ❤️

    ReplyDelete

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