When Love Breaks You: Choosing Divorce to Choose Life.

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I never thought I’d be here. Sitting in this stillness that isn’t peace — it’s more like a numb ache that wraps around everything. The house feels quiet, not because it’s calm, but because the noise of chaos has finally walked out the door. And with him, he took more than just the car.

He took my independence.
He took the man I thought I married.
He took every last breath I gave trying to hold it all together.

Six years I gave him. Six years of forgiveness, of excuses, of praying that the addiction, the rage, the lies, the manipulation would stop. I begged God to heal him. I believed that if I just loved hard enough, stayed loyal enough, endured enough — the man I married would come back to me.

But he didn’t.
And with every passing day, I lost pieces of myself.

The bruises may fade, the cruel words may echo less loudly in time, but the damage of staying too long is harder to trace. He broke me in ways I don't even know how to explain. I look in the mirror and sometimes I don’t recognize the woman staring back. Not the girl who once dreamed of a family, not the fighter who swore she’d never become her past. Just a mother holding on for dear life, praying for strength in a world that's torn her to shreds.

I chose divorce.
Not because I stopped loving him — but because I started loving myself again. Because my children deserve a home that isn't soaked in fear and broken promises. Because silence is safer than shouting, and peace is more powerful than pretending.

He left us with nothing. No food in the cupboards, no money in the bank, no car to get my babies to school or myself to work. But he didn’t take everything.

He didn't take my God.
He didn't take my hope.
He didn’t take the fire inside me that still believes something better is coming.

Even if I starve, my kids will eat.
Even if I cry alone at night, I know the Holy Spirit is interceding when my words fall short.
Even when I feel empty — He is here.

Jehovah Jireh, my Provider.
Jehovah Rapha, my Healer.
Jehovah Shalom, my Peace.

This pain isn’t the end of my story. It’s the breaking open before the blessing. It’s the ashes before the beauty. I don't know how I’ll make it through tomorrow, but I know the One who holds tomorrow. And right now, that has to be enough.

So here I am — heartbroken, yes. But not abandoned.
I may have lost everything…
…but I’ve finally chosen me.
And I trust that God will take it from here.
Hello, I’m a mom of four as a self-employed business owner, I’ve learned how to juggle many roles, often feeling stretched thin, but my faith has always been a source of strength and guidance. Life hasn’t always been easy—marriage struggles and personal challenges have tested me, but each experience has deepened my faith and understanding of who I am. This blog is a space where I share my heart, my journey, and the lessons I’m learning along the way. I hope my story can offer encouragement and connection to theirs walking their own paths of faith and growth.

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